Monday, April 28, 2008

Blogging in a vacuum

Hey freaks and geeks, sorry I've been MIA for a while. To be honest with you, I've been in kind of a blogging slump. I haven't had the motivation or time to blog in the last couple of weeks due to work and my near crippling addiction to playing Bioshock on my 360. Which, by the way, I just beat after a 6 hour marathon on Friday. I got the “bad” ending, though, for “harvesting” too many Little Sisters. The “bad” ending being the one in which I take over Rapture and use its gene spliced denizens to overtake a submarine carrying nuclear warheads. W00t! Because I know you’re all DYING to know about my video game obsession. Ain't 'cha?

However, I would like to bring a few tidbits of info to your attention that haven't merited a full blown blog post:

1. Had to have Mrs. Disco explain to my daughters what a "douche" is, after my oldest jokingly referred to someone as said feminine product. And then told her to never use that word again.

2. Finally resolved to tell my brother what a douche he is for not calling/visiting more often. Then proceeded to flake on meeting up with him. Twice. If anyone asks, it was an object lesson. Yeah.

3. 8 shopping days left until my birthday!! Thanks to Google Stat tracker, I’ll be compiling a list of the emails of all of my lovely commenters and sending out a list of birthday gift options. You’re welcome, America.

4. Heard that my ex had broken her toe. Then found out that she only broke her toe nail. Color me disappointed.

5. Heard that my brother wants to plan my bachelor party in Las Vegas. Sorry, buddy. To be honest with you, I'm just fucking over partying in Vegas unless it's with other couples. I mean, other than watching shows and getting some good eats, the only other activity to Vegas is trolling for random poonanny. And I'm not even sure I spelled poonanny right. My idea of the perfect bachelor party would be a bunch of my friends gathering at somebody's house, gettin' some good cigars, bbq'ing, playing Halo, and getting drunk. Is that too much to ask? Didn't think so. Make it happ'n, cap'n.

Also, here are some snippits of an IM with Mr. Meat:

me: who's got two thumbs and every other Friday off? THIS guy!
Mr. Meat: big deal, it's not like you work anyway
me: ...this is true
yet it still stings. Much like that fissure in your ass.
I am going to wake up at 6 in the morning tomorrow JUST so I can turn my Xbox on and stare at the dashboard. Why? Cuz I CAN.
Mr. Meat: bastard
me: Have fun at work tomorrow, wage monkey
by the way, I may kill my upstairs neighbors
Mr. Meat: nice
me: God Bless Parissa, but her people are kinda jerks.
Mr. Meat: [gasp]
me: My upstairs Persian neighbors were up til 11 playing what could only be Persian Techno
I could picture them and their little rat demon dog rolling on the floor rubbing each other's faces with koosh balls
Mr. Meat: using glow-sticks
me: I'm trying to take down an underwater city and it's tyrannical creator, and they're up there with their grandma and mickey mouse gloves
YOU tell ME who takes priority
go ahead
I'll wait
Mr. Meat: well... i mean... a city needs a hero
even an underwater one


Girl With Curious Hair said...

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Wait, I was going to be hugely offended and protective of my 'people' but then I realized a) you love me, b) Techno of any kind sucks and anyone listening to it probably deserves what they get and c) most OC Persians are overly done mutants who don't know how to dress at picnics.


Manny said...

AND her ex boyfriend looks like Scott Stapp of Creed.

Aunt Becky said...

I can totally break your ex's toe for you. No charge for you.

Consider it a birthday present.

slouchmonkey said...

Why does everybody get every other Friday off except me? And, TK, I guess.


When is my Company going to transition to the 21st century? I can't even work from home every once in awhile to take care of my daughter.

I won't tell you who I work for.

It's "goofy" I tell ya'.

Girl With Curious Hair said...

I don't think she's really Persian. And regardless of her background--what kind of person would go out with a Scott Strapp look-alike?


Also, I want to not work on Fridays.

Vermillion said...

Wait a sec: HE gets to call GWCH by name? I call foul!

Claudia said...

I guess it's ok that I could be a called a geek, but I dunno bout the freak thing tho~!

A Bowl Of Stupid said...

1. Nice to see you out of the cave, such as it is.

2. What the fuck?!?! Do EITHER you or TK do ANYTHING besides roam the interwebs seeking alternative lives or play video games all day? Maybe THAT, my friend, is why you've both got lesions the size of watermelons hanging off your anuses (or is that 'ani' in the plural?).

3. Not to be a total douche, but need I remind you that I ALSO don't work Fridays ... or Mondays, ... or Tuesdays, or ...

4. You're a douchebag, go call your brother.

5. Happy (early) birthday, just in case I forget ... or die of syphilis beforehand. May the next year be a good one for you and the entire clan, my friend.

6. Miss you guys.

7. Douche.