Friday, May 2, 2008

Your future is in my hands, America


Just thought I'd let ya'll know that little ol' me will be directly responsible for determining the course of our country this election.

I just submitted my application to be the supervisor of a polling location in Orange County for the upcoming primaries on June 3rd. Why, you ask?

WHY?! Because this country has lost its way! WHY?! We’ve become a gaggle of directionless, mewling sheep! WHY?! We'll happily give anyone their fifteen minutes of fame as long as it will distract us from the gaping black pits that are our lives. Anyone with a debilitating heroine addiction, a vagina the size of the Chrysler building, or a talentless MySpace whore can instantly be rocketed to stardom as long as they give us a few fleeting moments of escape…WHY?!

...I’ll get $130.00 on top of my regular pay.

Godtopus Bless America!

3 comments:

Aunt Becky said...

How do I sign up for this gig?

Manny said...

You have to be a)devastatingly handsome, b) starved for blog material c) one paycheck away from receiving welfare.

Oh, and a city employee residing in or around Orange County.

Ms. Mix & Bitch said...

This is EXACTLY the reason why I've never volunteered for this gig...too tempting to - oops! - misplaced/destroy/sabotage all those Republican ballots.

And the Democraps aren't worth jail time.