The Hard Choices

So, as of this past Monday my oldest daughter began taking some anti-depressant medication as prescribed by her primary care physician. I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about it, but I know it really is the only option we have at this point. I mean, who wants to say that their daughter is on anti-depressants? It pains me to see her not fully experiencing her teenage years, and making so many poor decisions that could effect her future. Thinking back on my high school years (which were actually quite enjoyable), I know what she is missing out on by not being more socially active. With all that she has been through, I suppose we are getting off easy with only some minor acting out up to this point, but sometimes I see things churning beneath the surface. Things that worry me. Will she be equipped to be on her own when she's done with high school? Will she make it out of high school without ending up pregnant? Will she make it at all? I don't want her to be lost. I see so many other kids that are just...lost. I can only trust that we are doing everything we can to prepare her and that somehow it will come to the forefront when she needs it.

We didn't arrive at the option of medication quickly, but with the exhausted psychological care benefits we have we really didn't have much of a choice. I sat down with her a couple of weeks ago to discuss this option and told her it would be her choice as to whether or not she gave it a try. Luckily, she agreed, and so we are starting off with a low, 10mg prescription for generic Prozac. We went over all of the potential side effectsThe doctor said it would take about three to four weeks to build up in her system and to come back at that time for a checkup. Maybe I'm overly optimistic, but I want to say she's been more upbeat lately. Maybe I'm just fooling myself. I don't know. But I know that I love her, I want her to be happy and I want her to smile more.

Now comes the hard part: explaining this to her mom.

Separation Anxiety

So, my daughters will be leaving today at approximately 9am to spend the next month with their mother. That’s 30 days. 720 hours. 7,200 minutes. I’ve been decidedly nervous about this for the past couple of days for a couple of reasons. Primarily, I’m wary of how prolonged exposure to their mother affects their overall behavior when they return. Early on when they first moved in with us, they would return from their visits sullen and disobedient. Of course this has gotten much better over they years, but this is a whole freakin’ month we’re talking about here.

To be quite honest, I don’t think she (their mother) even knows how to deal with a child over the age of 9. She has a tendency to “baby” them and not communicate with them like the mature young women that they are. I remember getting calls from their mother at night when they were half the age they are now, with her asking me to talk to them because they weren’t listening to her and she didn’t know what to do. Not exactly a confidence booster there.

I understand that this is of course their mother and they need to spend time with her, but hey, this is just how I feel. Of course there are mothers out there that are fantastic *cough* Kristine *cough*, and are mature enough to handle pre teens. I just don’t think that bio-mom is one of those.

Can you hear me practicing my breathing? Yeah. Hee-Hee-hoooooo.

Anyway, last night we (Mrs. Disco and I) went for a late night swim with the girls, brought some snacks and Thor, and had a good time. Of course, Danielle was being her pre-teen self and was “bored” after 20 minutes. We hung out for a while longer, or at least until the warmth from the earlier part of the day wore off and we began to feel the chill of the night air. We then retired to the reading room (read: living room slash dining room slash TV room slash Rock Band stage) to watch some family television: A&E's "Intervention". Weeeeee!


(Update: 08:47 a.m.They just called to say that their mom just showed up to get them. Is it wrong that I was prepared to talk to them for the next 9 hours so I could keep them from leaving until I got home? I’m gonna go barf now.)