Thursday, June 26, 2008
OC News Roundup
Is there a Merit Badge for Grand Theft Auto?
When I was in the Boy Scouts (shut up, TK), we got our kicks from archery class, learning how to start a camp fire, and the lingering stares of our Scout Master. I guess kids these days need a bigger rush than you would get from trying to not be the last one in the showers. OC Register.
Get your hands off my pussy
You know, I’ve been known to give my dog a rub down when he’s had a rough day of laying on the couch, having only a dish full of food and water and a floor full of toys to play with, but I draw the line when it comes to cats. Those smarmy, pissy little bastards certainly don’t deserve a $50/hour rub down from some septuagenarian with too much time on her hands. Helps with digestion? What the fuck are they feeding their cats? Filet Mignon? OC Register.
Send in the clown’s Crash cart
I dunno about any of you, but I have never had a clown at any of my previous birthday parties, and I’m not really sure if I would’ve wanted to if there were the chance that he might (OC Register):
A) Keel over dead from making balloon animals
B) Have Vietnam flashbacks every time a balloon popped
C) Ask to sit on my lap and tell me about the time he and Nixon walked on the moon
D) All of the above
Plus, the dude is fucking scary looking! I mean, if I wanna make some kids cry I’ll just do what I normally do:I tell them Santa Claus is dead and that we ate the Easter Bunny for dinner last night. Mmmmm, toasty.
Currently listening to: Your lingering cries for help.