Meet the newest member of the Martinez/Quintana family.
Jonas Ryan Martinez
Born to: William and Kristina Martinez
Born: May 16, 2008
Weight: 5 pounds (4.5 of which is all penis, by the way).
Length: 18 inches (oddly enough, he’s hung like a 4.5 pound can of tuna)
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go plan for his 18th birthday party in Tiajuana.
