Showing posts with label monday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label monday. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Heat Wave Haiku


Happy fuckin’ Tuesday, folks! I hope all of you had a great mother-fucking weekend. I managed to get stuck doing laundry in a house with no air conditioning in 90 degree weather AND I was interrogated by a police officer, all in one day!

But enough about me, I know what all two of you are waiting for. Using the current heat wave as inspiration for my perspiration, it’s that time of the week again where I take an ancient form of poetry and puke all over it. Like ta’ hear it? Here it goes:


Sun rises up high
Sweat like MJ at Disney
Why can’t I just die?


*Oh, and to my co-worker that can’t seem to find a pair of pants that fit her ginormous ass and has her Rock of the 90’s CD playing on a continuous loop, “Go to Hell”.

I only need to hear the Cranberries/Spin Doctors/Hootie and the Blowfish once a day, thank you very freakin’ much. God, I hate you right now.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Monday Office Haiku

Think outside the box?
I work in a cubicle
Go fuck yourself, dude

Monkey at keyboard
Typing for your amusement
The feces will fly

Billboards on freeway
Marketing my life away
Hooter's hot wings suck

Meeting dragging on
Sharpie marker high feels great
Drug test would suck balls

Monday, March 24, 2008

Monday Office Haiku

Monkey swings on branch.
Why does the hippo hate me?
Printer ink in eye.

Doctor can save me
Prostate can kill a man in time
Why is finger brown?

Two men in a boat
Food cannot last much longer
Two men and one cup?

Sun sets over me
The ocean is on fire
Skin cancer's a bitch.