Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Once again back is the incredible...

Hey folks, sorry for the lack of posts. My computer recently went down in a ball of fire, so it's gonna take a few days for it to get cleaned up and back in working order. I'm posting this from a loner computer for now.


A day in the life of my brain.

Oh God, I’m still alive. Oh well, shower.

What’s he doing? Staring at the soap? Does he think the soap is going to magically appear in his hand??

*blog*

What was that?? My God how long have we been in the shower? 15 minutes?? FUCK!

Ok, wake up, wake up. Come on, big guy, gotta get to work. Thaaaat’s it, brush the teeth. You could peel paint with your breath, geeeezus. Ah, much better.

Christ, did a raccoon die on your head? Get a haircut dammit! Thank God you bought two gallons of hair gel. And spackle.

*blog*

What the fuck was that??? Who’s in here??

Oooooh, shiny. Focus! Time to get to work.

Mmmmkay, now we get to sit here for 10 minutes and wait for the computer to boot up. Let’s go pee.

*blog*

Ok!!! I swear to fucking Christ whoever is in here is gonna get a cerebellum whoopin’ if they don’t show themselves.

Hey, guy in the stall, are you giving birth in there? Great Caesar’s ghost, sounds like you just dropped a ham in the bowl.

Wash the hands, get a paper…FUCK! Do the facilities people HAVE to cram as many paper towels in here as possible?? SHIT! We can’t even get a whole towel out! Great, maybe if we keep tearing off pieces we can wad them up into a ball and dry our hands...jackholes.

Oh God, it’s him again. Somebody tell him he looks like a pedophile. Back to work.

Good job Manny, you lasted a whole 5 minutes before getting on Pajiba!!

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...Huh? Wha? Sorry, you bored me for a minute there. Anything happen while I was out? Nothing? Big surprise.

Lindsay Lohan is in rehab…again. I’d still Google her Yahoo.

Alright, time to get some work done.

*blog*

Arrrrrgh! Is Wayne Brainy gonna have to choke a lobe?

Pajiba again?! It’s been 45 seconds, retard!

Fucking firewalls. Since when where pictures of Hayden Panettiere in a thong “distasteful”? Oh, must be that whole “minor” thing. Prudes.

I how long it’ll take for my boss to notice if we fall asleep in one of the bathroom stalls?

Hey, stop tossing your pen in the air it’s gonna….OW! See?? No one listens to me.

We really should try to get some work done today. Ooooh, shiny.

Holy crap, look at that bald spot on the CEO’s head….WOW. I could land a Cessna on that. Dude, just Bic it man. EVERYBODY can see it; I don’t care how tall you are. Oh, and I can knit a hammock from your nose hairs, man. One word: TWEEZERS!!

4 comments:

TK said...

Your brain and my brain are surprisingly similar.

That is both funny and flat-out terrifying.

*shudder*

Vermillion said...

This comment is not for Manny, but for everyone else:

Who was the genius who told this man to give us a look inside his head? You realize you just earned a kick in the groin, right?

This is worst than, dare I say, Chocolate Rain.

Bianca Reagan said...

I wouldn't Google her Yahoo! if I were you. It's been to Funkytown.

Claudia said...

hee! thanks for the giggle. Not that I am laughing AT YOU. Ok yes I am, but only because I think you wouldn't mind me confessing it.