Friday, February 29, 2008
Office Pace II
1. The old lady (Fartsy McTootsalot) training me has perpetual dry mouth. Whenever she speaks to me all I hear are those lip smacky noises.
2. One of the nicer ladies in the office wears belly hugging clothing that she really has no business wearing. I repeat, super nice lady, but she has a serious case of booty-do...her belly sticks our more than her booty do. I think it’s possible she may be pregnant, but come on, how much can a moo moo cost?
3. My computer will mysteriously power down on its own at random times. Oh, did you just type up a three page report that has to get to court in 10 minutes? Let me shut down really quick so you can lose all of your work, mkay? Fucker.
4. The other old lady that sits in the next cubicle refuses to close her mouth when she is eating chips at her desk. It’s like nails on motherfucking chalkboard to me.
5. One of the other workers here will stand right outside my cubicle, holding a file, knowing full well that I’m on a break and tell me they have a report they need typed before the last run for court. Fuck you, man. Just because you’re the resident gay guy doesn’t make it ok for you to be an ass hat. Seriously folks, the dude is so gay he practically sets the carpet on fire. Not that there is anything wrong with being gay, but MAN...we're talkin' a whole lotta gayness right there. On the I Love Schlong scale, 1 cock being Anderson Cooper and 10 cocks being that gay comedian that's always on VH1, this guy is probably a 14.
That being said, what annoys you at your place of work? Also, I am declaring today Delurker Day!! That's right folks, if you've never commented at the Disco, but have been reading, please feel free to step out of line and move into the VIP section. All lurkers that delurk will receive a Hispanic! At The Disco commemorative plate featuring moi*.