Thursday, March 13, 2008

The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care...right?

My never ending quest to conquer the interwebs continues, people. I’ve decided to horn in on Marvo’s territory and dip my dainty little toe into the welcoming waters of product review. In case you’re wondering, the answer is "No"; I’m not getting paid and or compensated for this. So why am I doing it, you ask? Because I love you like a fat kid loves cake. Like Rosie O’Donnell loves eating newborn babies. Like Britney Spears loves riding paparazzi schlong, Lindsay Lohan loves schlong covered in coke, and Perez Hilton loves, well, just schlong in general (suck on THAT, Google Search).

Starting on Monday, I will be subjecting my finely chiseled physique to various energy boosting supplements on a daily basis. First on the list will be various "5 Hour" energy drinks. Yeah, you know the ones. The little bottles hovering at the liquor store counter, praying on your impulse shopping compulsion, just sitting in their little racks, all cozy and warm with promises of all day energy and enough Niacin to give a rhino a heart attack. Also, I’ll be ingesting those "Nitro 2 Go" pill packs, with the crackhead packaging and vaguely illegal look about them.

I’ll ingest one of these energy boosting products at the beginning of my work day and updating this blog with my physical condition throughout the day. At the end of the day I’ll post a summary of the products overall effect and my opinion of said item.

Should one of my posts start off fine and turn into "…at around 12:00 I began to feell aguikmdngolkdgaljdk;aaa smd[0q UWIJ…", that means I just had a heart attack and I’m face down on my keyboard. Please call an ambulance.

7 comments:

gospelaccordingtoprisco said...

Silly Manny. You'll stroke out first. That's why all your sentences will consist of only letters from the right hand side of the keyboard.

Of course, I'm not a surgeon. But I do play a lot of Amateur Surgeon on the adultswim.com website. And Trauma Center for the Wii.

TK said...

As a certified Doctologist, I can say without hesitation that this is the greatest idea in the history of the world.

Becky said...

I think you're brilliant. AND sexxy.

girl with curious hair said...

Is it horrible that the first thing that came to my mind was clip of you jumping off the roof? And now with more energy!

Kyddryn said...

Why on earth would you want to do that to yourself?? Good heavens, man, you'll short circuit!!

Shade and Sweetwater,
K

Claudia said...

that's a brave Manny.

Vermillion said...

DO IT!!!!!!