My never ending quest to conquer the interwebs continues, people. I’ve decided to horn in on Marvo’s territory and dip my dainty little toe into the welcoming waters of product review. In case you’re wondering, the answer is "No"; I’m not getting paid and or compensated for this. So why am I doing it, you ask? Because I love you like a fat kid loves cake. Like Rosie O’Donnell loves eating newborn babies. Like Britney Spears loves riding paparazzi schlong, Lindsay Lohan loves schlong covered in coke, and Perez Hilton loves, well, just schlong in general (suck on THAT, Google Search).
Starting on Monday, I will be subjecting my finely chiseled physique to various energy boosting supplements on a daily basis. First on the list will be various "5 Hour" energy drinks. Yeah, you know the ones. The little bottles hovering at the liquor store counter, praying on your impulse shopping compulsion, just sitting in their little racks, all cozy and warm with promises of all day energy and enough Niacin to give a rhino a heart attack. Also, I’ll be ingesting those "Nitro 2 Go" pill packs, with the crackhead packaging and vaguely illegal look about them.
I’ll ingest one of these energy boosting products at the beginning of my work day and updating this blog with my physical condition throughout the day. At the end of the day I’ll post a summary of the products overall effect and my opinion of said item.
Should one of my posts start off fine and turn into "…at around 12:00 I began to feell aguikmdngolkdgaljdk;aaa smd[0q UWIJ…", that means I just had a heart attack and I’m face down on my keyboard. Please call an ambulance.