Reverse Darwinism

New York Times

GERONIMO, Tex. — Levi Draher, 16, walked to the front of the Navarro High School gym in early March and picked up the microphone before a hushed audience of fellow teenagers.

Levi was found by his mother last Oct. 28, clinically dead, suspended on a rope he had slung across a bunk-bed frame. He had pushed his neck onto the rope, he told the rapt audience, aiming to achieve a surging rush as his brain was starved and then replenished with blood just before the point of unconsciousness.

“I did it because it felt good and I didn’t think I’d get caught,” said Levi, a slow-talking, sardonic skateboarder and hockey player from San Antonio. “Do I consider myself a miracle?” asked Levi, who told the students he had played the game three times before his accident. “Yes, I do.”

What. The. FUCK?!

No, you backwater, bottom feeding, knuckle dragger. You are not, by any stretch of the imagination a miracle. A miracle is a hand grenade landing at your feet and not exploding. A miracle is a bus hitting you at 40 mph and you survive without a scratch. A miracle is Perez Hilton not being crushed by a meteor.

You are evolution's version of "Punk'd". You intentionally choke yourself to get high, almost die and call yourself a miracle. Oh, did anyone catch the fact that this douchebag has done this three times before? Yeah, three times.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. Fuck you Levi Draher. Your parents should be dragged out into the streat so they can watch you be hung to ensure you don't come back this time. Maybe your 18 year old dad will think twice before putting his seed inside the next uterus that stumbles out of a crack house at 4am.

By the way, if anyone is wondering what that dog is thinking:

Dog: I eat my own feces and I have a higher IQ than this fucktard.

Why haven't we figured it out?

I'll be honest. I used to frequent the Perez Hilton site in it's earlier days when there were actual pieces of inside information to be found there. Whether it was actual insider info or something he gleaned from another site, I don't know but there it was. Some little bit of priveledged info that gave you the feeling that YOU were the insider. You were part of that elite circle of celebrity. You could almost taste the food at Ivy and see the flashes from paparazzi cameras.

After a while though, something changed. Maybe my sensibilities became more refined. Perhaps there was a shift in my core beliefs. More likely I just realized what a colossal, juvenile douche bag this "star" fucking parasite was. The puerile drawings on pictures, calling someone a slut one week and "fabulous" the next. Somehow managing to say nothing at all about certain celeb's that he would regularly rip into before. It all just seemed to click one day, along with a profound sense of guilt for actually contributing to this thunder cunts hit count.

My fiance continues to frequent his site, though I have not. I don't hold it against her, and won't. It just isn't my cup of tea anymore. I've completely sworn off the site, and am proud to say I'm three months clean now. Everyday is a struggle though, but due mainly to the fact that I want to rip into him whenever he proclaims that the Olsen crack twins are " tres chic!" or "beautiful!" The self serving, attention whore that is Perez Hilton is truly a blight on American culture. It's celebrity for celebrity's sake. I would rather spend they day debating the directorial skills of Tyler Perry with an urban Christian church pastor than read another insipid "blog" from this blithering jizz monger.