Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Reverse Darwinism


New York Times


GERONIMO, Tex. — Levi Draher, 16, walked to the front of the Navarro High School gym in early March and picked up the microphone before a hushed audience of fellow teenagers.


Levi was found by his mother last Oct. 28, clinically dead, suspended on a rope he had slung across a bunk-bed frame. He had pushed his neck onto the rope, he told the rapt audience, aiming to achieve a surging rush as his brain was starved and then replenished with blood just before the point of unconsciousness.


“I did it because it felt good and I didn’t think I’d get caught,” said Levi, a slow-talking, sardonic skateboarder and hockey player from San Antonio. “Do I consider myself a miracle?” asked Levi, who told the students he had played the game three times before his accident. “Yes, I do.”


What. The. FUCK?!


No, you backwater, bottom feeding, knuckle dragger. You are not, by any stretch of the imagination a miracle. A miracle is a hand grenade landing at your feet and not exploding. A miracle is a bus hitting you at 40 mph and you survive without a scratch. A miracle is Perez Hilton not being crushed by a meteor.


You are evolution's version of "Punk'd". You intentionally choke yourself to get high, almost die and call yourself a miracle. Oh, did anyone catch the fact that this douchebag has done this three times before? Yeah, three times.


Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. Fuck you Levi Draher. Your parents should be dragged out into the streat so they can watch you be hung to ensure you don't come back this time. Maybe your 18 year old dad will think twice before putting his seed inside the next uterus that stumbles out of a crack house at 4am.
By the way, if anyone is wondering what that dog is thinking:
Dog: I eat my own feces and I have a higher IQ than this fucktard.

7 comments:

Natalia said...

I think he's trying to get his dog high.

TK said...

Actually, Perez Hilton getting hit by a meteor would be a miracle.

Or maybe simply justice. I get those two confused.

slouchmonkey said...

I saw this AssClown on Good Morning America! Needless to say, it ruined my day knowing that he survived.

slouchmonkey said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Manny said...

The world is that much less wonderful for having this speedbump in evolution in it.

Tisha! said...

oh Manny you're a real loco, love your humor!

Manny said...

Thanks for the love Tisha. Right back atcha!