Thursday, May 3, 2007

Cinco De Drink-o


Well....come this May 5th is the annual Hispanic tradition of trying to ingest enough alcohol to distract you from the sprawling vista of detritus that is your life, yet not enough to permanently bestow upon you the mental capacity of a 3rd grader with Down Syndrome. My good friends at Wikipedia have this to say about Cinco De Mayo:

"Cinco de Mayo ("The Fifth of May" in Spanish) is a national, but not federal, holiday in Mexico which is also widely celebrated in the United States. It commemorates the victory of Mexican forces led by General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguin over the French occupational forces in the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862".

But beware....

Some may try to fool you with terms like "history", "pride", and "on parole" but don't be fooled my friends. Oh no. It's all a ruse to get you to take repeated shots of cheap tequila from a boot shaped shot glass while your "friends" make ready with the Sharpie Markers and makeup.

On top of this already volatile powder keg of a weekend is the fact that the birthdays of myself and my two cousins Ivan and Victor both fall on this weekend.......lets' review that, shall we?

Three thirty something Hispanic men with an unlimited supply of booze.
Three thirty something Hispanic men with a penchant for neanderthal (often dangerous) behavior when drunk.
Three thirty something Hispanic men with no one but friends and family around (read: no one to call the police).
Also, I have tickets to see Spiderman 3 at the IMAX theatre.....at 10:00 A.M.....Sunday.

Which means that after a night of drinking, dancing, smoking cigars, drinking, eating, drinking.....(did I mention drinking)? I have to get home, sleep, wake up, pick up my kids from the sitter, then get to Irvine by 9 so I can get in a line packed with 40 year old men wearing too-small Spider Man t-shirts and beards they haven't shaved in 10 years that spent the night camped in front of the theatre, just so I can get a decent seat. Yay me.

I'll provide a full report on the weekends events on Monday, along with a review of Spider Man 3, provided that I don't cough up my liver.

7 comments:

TK said...

Happy birthday, brother. Be careful out there - if you were to drink yourself to death, how would I amuse myself during breaks at work?

But seriously - have a fucking blast.

slouchmonkey said...

Happy B-Day!

girl with curious hair said...

Happy Birthday--and good luck Sunday morning. That should be fun.

Dan Carlson said...

Irvine: Because California needs its own version of Plano, Texas.

Manny said...

TK - Thanks, I will. Pictures and review should be done by tomorrow. Surprisingly tame weekend, though.

Slouch - Thanks.

Girl - Thanks, hope you had a good weekend too.

Dan- Hey Dan-O! Thanks for stopping by! By the way....
There's a special place in Hell for you. Right next to me.

Anonymous said...

you neglected to mention your penchant for buggery

Manny said...

Anonymous - I thought that went without saying?