Friday, May 11, 2007

My resume's bigger than yours

TK is sharing some of his mind altering work history after being inspired by Litelysalted's tales of Bitches and deli-meats. So in honour of TK's thumbs and Litely's dignity, I'm sharing some of my own colorful past in the workforce.

1993-1995 Journeys Shoes - I started there as an ROP (Regional Occupation Program) student and was hired part time for summer.

Upside - Actually not a bad job for a high school kid. Discounts on brand name shoes, worked in the mall, got to talk to the fly honeys at San Francisco Cookie Shop all day.

Downside - My boss, Sharon, was a hardcore vegetarian and the smell from her bowel movements could peel the paint off of a Sherman tank. Her ex was a creep to the Nth degree and thought walking around with an Indian Spirit stick or whateverthehellitwas was cool.

2003-2004 - Prudent Choice - I got suckered into working their by my ex roommate. It was in an office building in Irvine, and ran by a fast talking midget from NY. No, not Chez. My first clue should have been that all the office equipment was second hand. The second clue was my first check bouncing. I spent my days conning people into buying into a medical discount program that offered little to no savings and was only accepted by witch doctors in Papua New Guinea . I had no medical benefits, worked weekends, and my co workers were often ex cons and washed up rock groupies with less teeth than Amy Winehouse. What can I say, I was in a weird place in my life.

P.S. I forgot to mention that their sales training sessions included reading sales scripts that took lines DIRECTLY from Boiler Room. I shit you not.

As you can see, I was spared the manual labor jobs TK excelled at, and the retail food chains Litely loves soooo much. But if not for them, who's backs would I stand on to climb the ladder of success?

6 comments:

TK said...

I was cracking up at the Prudent Choice part until I realized... that was TWO YEARS AGO!! Then I *really* started laughing. For some reason, that makes it awesomer.

Is that when your blog profile picture was taken?

Manny said...

The dates are a bit fuzzy....but close. I was just a wide eyed kid in those days with dreams of getting rich quick.

Asshole.

litelysalted said...

This is awesome! What's next, an afternoon comment diversion?

Manny, the upside of your Journeys Shoes experience made me want to punch you in the face; but luckily the downside was hilarious enough that you get a pass.

slouchmonkey said...

Prudent Choice reminds me of the awesome scheme my friend was hatching to sell water filters and purifiers. Tell me not one of you almost got hooked into that racket.

Yeah, I need to be more productive today, but this is too much fun!

slouchmonkey said...

Roy McAvoy=Dances with Wolves=the postman

RottweilerTOM said...

And you worked out of Irvine?