My resume's bigger than yours

TK is sharing some of his mind altering work history after being inspired by Litelysalted's tales of Bitches and deli-meats. So in honour of TK's thumbs and Litely's dignity, I'm sharing some of my own colorful past in the workforce.

1993-1995 Journeys Shoes - I started there as an ROP (Regional Occupation Program) student and was hired part time for summer.

Upside - Actually not a bad job for a high school kid. Discounts on brand name shoes, worked in the mall, got to talk to the fly honeys at San Francisco Cookie Shop all day.

Downside - My boss, Sharon, was a hardcore vegetarian and the smell from her bowel movements could peel the paint off of a Sherman tank. Her ex was a creep to the Nth degree and thought walking around with an Indian Spirit stick or whateverthehellitwas was cool.

2003-2004 - Prudent Choice - I got suckered into working their by my ex roommate. It was in an office building in Irvine, and ran by a fast talking midget from NY. No, not Chez. My first clue should have been that all the office equipment was second hand. The second clue was my first check bouncing. I spent my days conning people into buying into a medical discount program that offered little to no savings and was only accepted by witch doctors in Papua New Guinea . I had no medical benefits, worked weekends, and my co workers were often ex cons and washed up rock groupies with less teeth than Amy Winehouse. What can I say, I was in a weird place in my life.

P.S. I forgot to mention that their sales training sessions included reading sales scripts that took lines DIRECTLY from Boiler Room. I shit you not.

As you can see, I was spared the manual labor jobs TK excelled at, and the retail food chains Litely loves soooo much. But if not for them, who's backs would I stand on to climb the ladder of success?