Thursday, May 24, 2007

Blind date? No, it's just Catarax

Orange County Register

"Senior dating is finally getting its due attention. The AARP now has a page in its magazine devoted to senior dating issues. And currently, a TV network is considering a 13-part series about senior dating."

Um, Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Look, no one wants to see a show about old people dating. It's saddening enough staring down the barrel of my own age without having to watch two even older people swap stories about Geritol and bed sores. I am perfectly content with the image of old people as dispenser of wisdom and checks for $20 on my birthday. I don't need them "humanized".

I mean, really, the only reason people are gonna watch this show is to see if one of them breaks a hip riding the mechanical bull at Coyote Ugly. That, or they'll force the fogies to go on an "extreme" date that involves sky diving or rock climbing, just to prove how "active" these fossils are, resulting in a coronary mid jump and the subsequent snap, crackle, pop on colliision.

I say, let them remain as they are: Repositories of ancient wisdom, funny anecdotes about Roosevelt, and days spent mowing down Nazi troops.


Anonymous said...

And why can't "old" people engage in sex and romance. Is it only reserved for the "young". Do you think that just because a body sags and drags they lose the essence of what makes us human. "Old" people make better lovers because they know what they are doing and have exhibit some humanity towards their partner. I want to be there when you are "old" and see if you want to be left and discarded like an old shoe in the gutter.

Vermillion said...

Finally got me to comment.

You will be singing a different tune once Medicaid pops in and you have some of those "little blue friends" in your pocket raring to go.

And just to creep you out even more, STDs amongst the elderly are skyrocketing, due to them believing they are a) too old to get them, or b) gonna die anyway, so why not?

Manny said...

All roads lead to The Disco, V. Thanks for reading.