Friday, March 9, 2007

The brighter side

For those of you that don't know me, I am the father of two beautiful girls, ages 11 (going on 18) and 9. Despite being birthed from the vaginal canal of Satan's lapdog, both of them are intelligent, funny, caring girls that I would do anything for (as is evidenced by my actually pausing the action on my PS2 to occasionally feed them). I, along with the best effing girlfriend in the world, recently registered them for the local girls fast pitch softball league.

They both have been doing great and thankfully both of their teams won their respective first games. To top it off, my youngest girls team won their second team by a landslide (something like 14 to 5). Unfortunately my oldest was away at Science Camp for the week, so she missed her second game. They will both be missing their games this weekend as this is their weekend with "The Crackhead of the Year" (their mom). Unfortunately, that's the nature of the beast as I am unable to force her to take them to the games which fall on her weekends. Their coaches are aware of, thought not entirely pleased by, the situation.

Oh well. I mean, it's not like I can or would hire a rather unscrupulous individual to facilitate a particularly grisly demise for her........

I'm just thankful for the joy and character building qualities that being enrolled in a team sport can provide. Already they are reaping the physical benefits as my youngest, who has trended towards the "husky" sizes in clothing, has slimmed down dramatically. Hopefully they can make a run at this for at least 2 seasons, and build some great memories.


A Bowl Of Stupid said...

And get a hefty contract with women's MLB!! ... Err, uhh, ... how do they feel about basketball?

Manny said...

One can only dream that some day I will be able to live off the sweat and blood of my progeny.

I mean, what the hell else are kids good for if you can't profit from their physical and or intellectual gifts?

They certainly don't taste that great unless you pour on some Buffalo Wing sauce.