Tuesday, March 6, 2007

How MySpace destroys lives


Ok, so it's Teusday night and I'm at home with my dog. Now I figure since I'm home everybody else must be home waiting for me to post some seriously introspective blog to occupy their time. Sorry, I just feel like making a list of dumb shit that annoys me. I've had my MySpace page for a while, and while I hate the bullshit bulletins from fake profiles telling me that I won 1 million dollars and a PS3, I can't dismiss the fact that it brought me together with the most wonderful girlfriend anyone could ever ask for. Now on to my list. Feel free to pass this along and add to it as you see fit...who knows? You just might win a gajillion dollars or a PS3. Or a can of Spam. Or all of your friends will delete you for passing on another bullshit list.......welcome to MySpace.

1. Guys that take pictures of their abs=Gay

2. People that use cartoon characters instead of their actual pictures = "Hey world! I'm fugly!

3. Sorry ladies, but the glittery pages with fairies flyin out your ass is only ok if your 16...but if you are 16 and have a MySpace, see #8.

4. People that give their pages names like "Pimp Daddy", "Seductress" or lame self absorbed bullshit like that. We all know you still live at home and work at Hot Topic.

5. People that use celebrity pics for their page. Hey, I don't think Pamela Anderson really wants me to get in on her lates get rich quick scheme.....sorry.

6. The bajillion chicks out there with Angelina Jolie layouts....save yourself the time: just get a flattop, buy some birkenstocks, put a pink triangle as your cursor and call it a day.

7. Anyone and everyone that has any kind of Raiders images on their pages. Wanna buy Pam Anderson's latest get rich quick scheme?

8. Gog damn 16 year old kids with MySpace pages! WTF are your parents doing letting you have a MySpace?! I'd find them and kick their asses but I would probably be busted for assaulting a minor.

9. If I see another God damn lowrider layout I'm calling immigration. Sorry, the pushed out wheels and gold rims went out in, oh, I don't know 1993?!

10. And Private profiles? For the love of baby jesus, you're not that cool......

11. Profiles with more graphics, slide shows, and embedded links than a Powerpoint presentation....If I want that I'll visit your mom's Yahoo! personals page.

12. I was going somewhere with that last one but I lost my train of thought....sorry.Good night folks...

2 comments:

litelysalted said...

Ahhhhahaha, hey retardo... Are you aware that you have a private profile?

Manny said...

I do?! Crap, honestly I didn't even know that it was.....it must have happened when I was making some changes.

I'll make it public tonight so everyone can salivate over the pictures of me in my pajamas wrestling with a 2 month old shih tzu.