Wednesday, March 28, 2007

A sphincter says Whatthefuck?


WorstPreviews.com


Russell Crowe is Sherlock Holmes
03-28-2007 (17:00:22)


According to StarPulse, Russell Crowe is being touted to star as Sherlock Holmes in a new movie based on Arthur Conan Doyle's legendary crime novels. The "Gladiator" star is an unusual choice for the role - but Hollywood bosses intend the new movie to "focus more on Holmes' physical attributes."A source tells British newspaper the Daily Express, "Unlike previous films this one is going to focus more on Holmes' physical attributes, including his talent for bare-knuckle and sword fighting, which were both mentioned in the original books."


Russell is the favorite for the role as it's felt he'll give the character the action-man-like qualities the part is going to require. He's also proved in past films that he can pull off a convincing British accent.
OK, I can pull off a British accent and hold a sword (by sword, I mean my immense penis). That doesn't mean any schmuck can play Sherlock Holmes. And '...focus on Holmes' physical attributes'.....Whatthefuck? In my humble opinion, Holmes was the epitome of brains over brawn. Deductive reasoning over brute force. Not, "Hey, how hard can you punch? Great! You're hired!".
I guess this means that if I get into a couple of bar fights I can audition for this role. Hollywood here I come!!
Fucking Hollywood idiots.

3 comments:

A Bowl Of Stupid said...

What a bunch of fucktards.

What's next, is Vin Diesel getting tapped to play Abraham Lincoln in the remake of Birth Of A Nation.

New Tagline: "This time, it's war!"

A Bowl Of Stupid said...

Hey, what's up kid?

Manny, I tried to leave a comment earlier today (don't ask me about what - I've NO idea), but it's not up on your site.

Whassup wit dat?

I feel so, so ... unloved.

Manny said...

For some reason I didn't even get an email notification that you left a comment. But have no fear because I have done absolutely nothing to resolve the issue.

How's that for love?

Sorry, for some reason I called in sick yesterday but came into work today and I am TOTALLY regretting being at work.